Church Involvement – FamilyLife®

Why You Prefer Online Church (And What You are Missing)

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 19:08:19 +0000

My family was gathered in front of the TV, but no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the online church service to play. The more I messed with the settings, the more my family’s attention span waned. My son was fidgeting. My wife was yawning. If I didn’t figure it out soon, I was going to lose everyone’s attention for good.

In a flash of inspiration, I decided to see if our old church offered services online. They did! I was glad so many churches now had a virtual church option, but as we lounged on the living room couch watching the service, I started to wonder if it had all become too convenient.

Why you prefer online church services

Sunday mornings used to be difficult. No matter how hard we tried to get out on time, everything in life seemed stacked against us. The minute we’d have to leave, one of our kids would inevitably misplace a shoe, my wallet would disappear, or someone would suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Lionel Richie might be able to sing, “Easy Like Sunday Morning,” but we never could.

Can you relate? Here are a few reasons online church services seem so much easier and just what we might be missing out on when we skip being there in person.

1. It’s convenient.

When the weather is bad, the kids are sick, we’re traveling, or we’ve stayed up all night working on a project, the convenience of an online church can be an amazing thing. It can allow us to reconnect with God, worship, and be convicted by His Word in a way we might not otherwise get. But the Christian life is ultimately not one of convenience.

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24). Jesus didn’t call His followers to simply listen to His teachings in the comfort of their homes. He called them to action. Following Jesus was a dangerous decision. Many would lose family, jobs, and even their lives. In some places in the world today, following Jesus is equally dangerous. Yet there we were, lounging on the couch in our pajamas. It made me wonder if we were missing the whole point.

2. We can get more done.

I suggested we do virtual church that Sunday because I had a lot to do that weekend. I had a room I needed to paint, and I thought if I could start painting early, I might get it done before Monday. But as I painted, I kept remembering the fourth commandment: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy” (Exodus 20:8).

There’s nothing evil about painting, I argued with myself. Besides, going to church online was certainly better than not going at all. While that might be true, I conveniently forgot the rest of the commandment, “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work” (Exodus 20:9-10).

I was honoring the Sabbath with one hand and dishonoring it with the other. By treating Sunday as just another day to get things done, I was missing out on the gift of sabbath rest God had for me. I was also perpetuating an unsustainable rhythm of busyness that could hurt my family down the road.

3. We’re too tired.

My hectic pace leaves me so exhausted at times that I long for a few extra hours of sleep on a Sunday morning. Online church services allow me the opportunity to get that sleep, but there’s one thing I’ve never been able to get from the screen—real community.

I attended the church’s virtual men’s group online for months. I met a lot of interesting guys. In many ways, it felt like there was community. Yet, no matter how great the conversations might have been, the relationships always stayed two-dimensional. When the call ended, so did the connection. The relationships never developed to the point where we shared real life with each other. Ironically, being too tired to go to where God’s people are means our tiredness increases. Doing life alone is exhausting.

Several years ago, I told the guys at my in-person men’s group about a termite problem I had been dealing with. The next Saturday, a team of men showed up with tools and lumber to help me repair the damage. A project which would have taken me weeks to do alone was completed in a few hours. But more than that, I knew I had people in my life I could count on—I had real community.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

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4. It’s easier on the kids.

I’m not the only one in my house with a busy schedule. I’ve recommended online church at least as many times for my kids’ sake as I have for my own. If they stayed up too late doing homework, got home too late from a part-time job, or simply had a really tough week, I might’ve suggested watching church online.

I thought I was holding up the value of regular church attendance, but what lesson was I really teaching when an extra two hours of minimum wage work on a Saturday night was seen as more important than two hours spent with God’s people on a Sunday morning?

Psalm 84:10 declares, “a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.” Unfortunately, my actions have often shouted, “Better is anyplace else!”

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

5. It feels safer.

There have also been times when going to church felt unsafe. Like one week when my news feeds were bombarded with stories of violence against churches. There was vandalism and arson overnight and even reports of congregants being accosted on their way into the building.

To help us feel more comfortable, our church sent us an email explaining how security was being ramped up. It had the opposite effect. My immediate thought was to stay home and watch online because it felt safer.

Thankfully, whether facing the threat of death by disease or lion in the Colosseum, God’s people have historically not let such fears dictate their actions. During a plague in 249 AD, Christians stood out from the rest of the world with a radical, self-sacrificial love. They cared for others (without PPE). Many even died as a result, but that didn’t dissuade other Christians from following suit.

They showed unbounded love and loyalty, sparing themselves and thinking only of one another. Heedless of the danger, they took charge of the sick, attending to their every need and ministering to them in Christ.^[1]

The Christian heritage is one that shouts the words of Paul, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). So why is it so easy for me to let fears govern my behavior? What would the world look like if I let love for others trump my love for self?

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

Purpose of the church

In many ways, a church is like a hospital. It’s filled with a mix of those giving help and those in need of it. The only difference is that in a church, the patients also serve as medical staff. All believers, not just the “professional” ones, are there to minister aid to others.

We might be able to “watch” church alone, but we can’t be the church alone.

Jesus said, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).

Christianity is not a spectator sport. There are people out there who need us. We just need to get off the couch first.

Carlos Santiago is a senior writer for FamilyLife and has written and contributed to numerous articles, e-books, and devotionals. He has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in pastoral counseling. Carlos and his wife, Tanya, live in Orlando, Florida. You can learn more on their site, YourEverAfter.org.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Amberly Neese

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 10:15:00 +0000

Struggling with comparison? Author Amberly Neese emphasizes the importance of community and creating a safe space where people can be seen, heard, and supported. Learn practical ways to find a community that will lift you up.

Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Amberly Neese and catch more of their thoughts at https://amberlyneese.com/ and on social media on Insta, Facebook and Vimeo.
And grab Amberly Neese’s book, The Belonging Project
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Radical Kindness for Your Community: Stephen Viars

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 09:15:00 +0000

What if your church—and your life—were known for their radical kindness? Pastor and author Stephen Viars chats about his church’s radical, community-altering approach to outreach.

You know, one of the things I love about community ministry is that it’s often not, “I have to build something new.” It’s more about using what I already have to meet a need. I’ve been in Lafayette at Faith Church for 36 years, and the gentleman that hired me was named Bill Goode, my predecessor. When I went to Faith, they had just built a new building, and it was very, very nice—brand new. — Stephen Viars
Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Stephen’s church ministry at www.faithlafayette.org and stay connected at biblicalcounselingcoalition.org
And grab his book, Loving Your Community: Proven Practices for Community-Based Outreach Ministry
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Why Kids Leave Christianity (And What to Do): Drs. Sean McDowell & John Marriott

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 09:15:00 +0000

“Will my kids leave the faith?” It’s a legitimate concern. Drs. Sean McDowell and John Marriott reveal why kids leave Christianity, what happens in deconstruction, and how parents can both prevent and respond to faith crises.
Christianity to a young person isn’t this historic 2000-year-old faith that is diverse and believed all around the world. It’s basically the few people who are living it out in front of me, whether that’s Christians they know at their church, whether it’s their parents, or maybe some other public figures that they see. So if they look at these Christians and don’t think their life is captivating and compelling and backing up what they say, a certain urgency with the gospel, then why on earth would they believe it? — John Marriott
Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Sean McDowell at seanmcdowell.org and listen to other programs from him on FamilyLife Today.
Find more on John Marriott at johnmarriott.org.
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Deconstructing Your Faith Without Sinking It: Drs. Sean McDowell & John Marriott

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 09:15:00 +0000

Can deconstructing faith be healthy? Authors Sean McDowell and John Marriott explore the realities of deconstruction—and the need for each of us to wrestle with doubts, questions, and incongruities toward robust faith.
Can I prove to you 100 percent that Jesus rose from the dead? Nope. I can’t and neither can anybody else. Do I think that there is good reason to think that He rose from the dead? I do. Do I think that there are counterarguments? I think that there are, but I find the reasons more persuasive than the counter arguments, and so I choose, based on that, to entrust myself to Jesus every day and try and walk out my life as submitting to His Lordship. — John Marriott
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In This Together: Brant Hansen and Sherri Lynn

Fri, 14 Apr 2023 09:15:00 +0000

Radio cohosts Brant Hansen and Sherri Lynn talk about their passion of advocating for children with treatable disabilities through CURE International. They’re in this together.

Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Brant on Twitter @branthansen or on Facebook @branthansenpage.
Learn more Brant on his website: branthansen.com
Listen to Brant and Sherri’s podcast
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What could living on mission look like in your family? Check out our FamilyLife Today episode with Jefferson Bethke: Family: On Mission.
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Stronger Together: Brant Hansen and Sherri Lynn

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 09:15:00 +0000

Who do you know that’s different enough to make you better? Brant Hansen and Sherri Lynn, national syndicated radio hosts of the Brant Hansen Show, talk about why they’re so much stronger together.

Show Notes and Resources

96: Get On Board

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 06:01:22 +0000

Would you consider joining our mission to serve blended families as a volunteer or affiliate staff with FamilyLife Blended? Listen to Ron Deal and four couples share about why and how they minister to stepcouples and the blessings they receive in return.
Show Notes and Resources

Find a Stepfamily Event or Small Group.
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Do you have a question about this episode? Email blendedquestions@familylife.com or call 407-826-2606.

Don Everts: Great News About Open Doors

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 06:00:00 +0000

Would you believe flinging open your doors could mean more intimate faith for your family? Author Don Everts reveals startling research about a packed house.
Show Notes and Resources

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6 Tips on Joining a Church Community

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Two years ago I moved to Denver. I was pursuing the woman who is now my wife. She was starting at Denver Seminary, pursuing a master’s degree in counseling. I was working from home at the time, so finding work wouldn’t be an issue.

I arrived in town on a Sunday, and that night EA and I took off to try the first church on our list. Being new to town, we ended up driving around for 30 minutes without any luck in finding it. We threw up our hands and gave up.

The next week I think we ended up perusing websites, and eventually decided not to go anywhere. We were 0-2.

The following Sunday we were determined. We drove downtown, and after finally finding a parking spot we showed up for our first Sunday morning service.

This particular church was celebrating its fifth birthday, and—this being our first visit—we sort of felt like we’d shown up in a living room with a bunch of people we didn’t know as they reminisced over the past five years.

The next week we showed up at our current church—Park Church. About 30 minutes into the service, I leaned over to EA and said, “I think this is the one.” She nodded her head in agreement.

After the service, we went to the quick “Introductions Meeting” and learned more about the church.

That Thursday night, we showed up at one of the many small groups happening around the city.

The next Sunday, I played bass guitar with the worship band.

The Sunday after that, we greeted folks as they walked in the door and we administered the elements during Communion.

And we haven’t looked back.

I’m now a music deacon at Park Church, and EA is heavily involved with all things aesthetic … so when we want things to look dark and heavy on Good Friday, or full of life and light on Easter Sunday, EA is a big part of making that happen.

Two years ago, we had no idea that we would end up buying a condo in Denver—that we would love this place and feel so committed to it. And joining a church community has been the driving force in that, without a doubt.

A church community is important

For some couples, especially when they show up in a new city, it’s easy to go into isolation mode and not meet any new people. I want to strongly encourage you to avoid that temptation; getting involved in a solid church community is critical for any married couple.

Just last night, we had about 20 people over to our house for our small group meeting. After discussing the sermon, we broke into a guys’ group and a girls’ group. We talked about what’s going on in our lives and prayed for each other.

One of the guys who has been showing up for about a month spoke up. “Last year was one of the darkest years of our lives,” he said. “I was working nearly 80 hours a week, and my wife started having serious panic attacks. We’ve grown a lot, but I would never wish the year we had upon anyone.”

But then he said that the past month had been one of the best months of their lives. “Since we started showing up here, my wife hasn’t had a panic attack. And as I enter another year of teaching, I’m determined not to let it take me over like it did last year. And I need you guys to call me out if I stop showing up here.”

Now you might be thinking, That would never happen to me! And you might be right. But I hope that story highlights the importance of having others around you who know and love you—who will keep you accountable and seek your best.

Here are a few tips on getting established in a new church, based on our experience:

1. Dive in and serve. There’s a tendency among church-goers to consume and complain. Meaning, they sit in the pews and listen to the music and the preacher and then find things to nitpick about.

This is my charge to you: Don’t fall into that trap. Get involved. Serve. If you don’t like something, find a way to respectfully bring it up with the leadership. And come to the meeting with a solution (that you can implement) in mind.

2. Show up consistently. Film director Woody Allen once said, “Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” The same could be said about building community at your church.

Make church a priority. If you have to schedule a flight home a little earlier to make it to church, do it. If you have to come home early from camping, do it. If you’re tired and overwhelmed, go to church anyway. In fact, go because you’re tired and overwhelmed. And if you go to a church where you can’t show up tired and overwhelmed … it might be time to switch churches.

Hebrews 10:23-25 tells us, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” It’s important that we are reminded of the gospel on a consistent basis—in the songs that we sing, the messages we hear, and the elements we consume.

So show up. On Sundays. To other events, too. It’s important. So act like it!

3. Invite people into your home (even if you only have 600 square feet). Our first apartment was tiny—only 600 square feet. But definitely enough room to have a couple over for dinner.

Often, we’d have 10-20 folks over on the weekend, too. We found a way to make it work. And we all grew closer together because of it.

There are conversations that will happen in your home that will never occur at church. Inviting people over provides a context for them to open up and share their lives with you … and for you to do the same. It provides a context for you to not only get to know each other better, but also to speak truth to each other.

Having people over gives us the opportunity to live out the things we hear taught at church on Sunday. It gives us the opportunity to help each other transform into the type of people God wants us to be.

4. Invite friends to join you. Not long after moving to Denver, I started recruiting my friends from Arkansas to come join me. About nine months later, one of them came. Three months after that, two more moved.

And I’m working on another two.

If you have close friends who are able to relocate, ask them to come join your community. It’s important to have close friends around, and it often makes building that community that much easier.

5. Do it even when you don’t want to. We host a small group on Tuesday nights at 7 p.m. And without fail, every Tuesday at 4 p.m. I I start thinking, Man, I really don’t want to have people over tonight. Maybe we should cancel.

And then, every Tuesday night at about 8:30, I start thinking, I’m so glad we did that. My soul is refreshed.

There will be days when you want to quit. To burrow into a hole and isolate yourself.

Resist the urge. Realize that community is hard, but community is good. As Hebrews 13:1-2 says, “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

6. Do it with others in mind. We have a newly-married couple in our small group. They first came to our group about a month before getting married. I still remember their first week back after the honeymoon.

When we split into groups of guys and girls for personal discussion and prayer, I asked this new husband how married life was treating him. He answered, “Not great. We had a huge fight yesterday. We’re almost back to normal, but not quite there yet.”

All the married guys in the group smiled knowingly, and I told him, “I’m really glad you’re here, man.” We did our best to speak truth into his life and pray for him. I think he left feeling encouraged.

Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Keep this in mind: If you’re hosting a small group at your house, it’s not primarily about you. It’s about the folks showing up every week and what they’re struggling with. It’s about listening to them and praying with them.

It’s not easy, but it’s good.