What does love look like? Author Sean McDowell looks at the difference between real love, sex, and our craving to be known.
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Do you ever feel like you have no time left for romance?

When are you supposed to enjoy sexy activities with your spouse—like surprising him with a lunch rendezvous, bubble baths, and rose petal trails to the bedroom? Even if you’ve never experienced these situations together, you’ve always wondered if you should have.

You’re busy with your kids, with the demands of your job. It feels like romance pretty much goes by the wayside.

And yet … perhaps we’re defining romantic and sexy encounters all wrong. Maybe cooking dinner together naked in a candle-lit kitchen isn’t on the menu this week, but it’s likely you still have a lot of regular romance going on in your home.

When you get stuck thinking romance is all roses and bubble baths, it starts feeling like something you’ll never achieve. You start believing it’s not even worth the effort. But when you remember that romance really is simply doing something special or unexpected for someone you love, even though you don’t have to, then we can make every day sexy.

Unexpected romance

Like last week, when you wrestled your rambunctious, happy child to bed and then set out your work clothes for tomorrow’s business meeting. Somehow, only a few hours later, out of nowhere, your child cried for you from a puddle of midnight vomit. While you sat in the dark pressing tired lips against a hot forehead, jamming the thermometer under her armpit, your husband quietly changed the soiled sheets. He brought several tattered beach towels to sop up the floor. He set two cups of water beside you, one for the patient, one for the caregiver.

What a romantic! You gave a quiet nod and tired smile to thank him.

Or what about when your husband recently worked a grueling overnight shift, arriving home way past schedule around lunchtime. You didn’t mutter a word about his long hours as he greeted you in the kitchen. But instead of only making one turkey sandwich, you pulled out two more slices of wheat bread. You spread mustard and mayonnaise together on his because you know that’s how he likes it. And you carried an extra paper plate of lunch with you to offer him at the table. How romantic!

Sometimes those intentional acts, those times when you just look for ways to help each other and bless each other, are far more romantic and sexy than you realize.

Here are 25 Valentine’s Day Ideas to spark everyday romance in your home:

1. Set her coffee cup next to the coffee maker in the morning before she is out of bed.

2 Send texts to let each other know you’re headed home from work.

3. Kiss each other goodbye every morning.

4. Buy the snacks he likes when you grocery shop.

5. Remember her coworkers’ names.

6. Give her a night off from helping the kids with homework. You huddle around the table for the spelling words and multiplication facts instead.

7. Tell him how much the kids enjoy being with him.

8. On a day off work, instead of sticking to your typical exercise routine, arrange it so you can work out together.

9. Watch the game with him. Try cheering for his team.

10. Ask him about his day.

11. Put your arm around her in church. Don’t let the kids sit between you.

12. Pray together. Pray out loud for each other.

13. Recall past memories together.

14. Cook his favorite dinner. Tell him you made it because you know he likes it.

15. Recognize your spouse for paying all the bills on time every single month.

16. When you come home from work, embrace each other. Squeeze tightly for longer than just a quick second.

17. Be the one who offers to turn out the lights tonight.

18. Text her that you’re thinking of her.

19. Reach over and hold his hand.

20. Compliment her for your favorite physical feature. Then also compliment her heart.

21. Help her clean the house.

22. Thank him for rolling the garbage can to the curb.

23. Split your dessert with her.

24. Talk to your in-laws instead of looking at your phone, during the next family gathering.

25. Let your spouse help you with something.

Romance doesn’t have to be hard or even well planned. All it takes is a thoughtful, intentional moment as you go about your regular day. Those daily displays of love really are the sexiest after all.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, if you feel up to adding a little extra spice to the daily routine, we have some no-fail Valentine’s Day ideas in our free printable collection. You’ll find tips for writing a love letter, conversation starters, love coupons, and a checklist to help make every day sexy.

Copyright © 2019 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Valentine’s Day is coming. We’ll take a look at bad Valentine gifts, the strange history behind the holiday, and the true meaning of love and marriage. Hear from Ken and Nook Tuttle, Hugh Duncan, Voddie Baucham, and Paul David Tripp.

Show Notes and Resources

VALENTINES SLIME
VALENTINES DAY HEART SLIME SCIENCE FOR KIDS

Everything at the store is turning pink. Hearts are strung everywhere, and you’d think the world was run on chocolate. But if you’re waking up to Valentine’s Day when marriage is hard, every little paper heart digs beneath your skin.

And if your life were a box of chocolates—it sure feels empty right about now.

People are celebrating the ones they love, spewing poetry and love songs. And that only accentuates the fact you’re with someone you’re tolerating.

Or whose words hurt you so often that your heart feels calloused, nearly unrecognizable.

Or the pain you’ve absorbed this year leaves you limping.

How do you do Valentine’s Day when marriage is hard?

You may be thinking, Do I have to? Please say no.

Relax. Valentine’s Day is a human construct. There’s no “Thou shalt buy 12 roses” in the Bible.

Good thing, you might be thinking. I was handed a bouquet of poison. I’m not much into flowers right now.

When your life is filled with betrayal or someone’s addiction or cycles that never change—Valentine’s Day might look like, We stayed married another day. Three cheers.  

Honestly? That is something to celebrate.

So let’s just say the following ideas are for those of you with the capacity for a step further than survival … Capacity to imagine something more than where you’re at.

Of course, love is exponentially easier when someone loves in return. When they do the little things—the unloading of the dishwasher, the kiss on the neck—alongside the big things (Respect. Consideration. Commitment).

Yet any love story worth its chocolate survives on the favor and kindness we don’t deserve, don’t expect. It’s a story of forgiveness and patience and unconditional-ness.

Why your Valentine’s Day matters

This kind of love says, I choose you. Through loveable-ness and unlovable-ness. When it’s easy and when it’s like tearing off a piece of my own heart.

And in that, you’re replaying what Jesus does for us: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

He explains He’s given us a gift we didn’t deserve; “it is the gift of God, not a result of works” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

We see tough marriages in the Bible playing this out: Hosea, loving his wife, who doubles as the neighborhood hooker. Abigail, who acts in fierce courage despite her husband endangering the lives of his entire estate. Sarah, who treats her husband with respect even when he tries (um, twice) to pass her off as his sister.

The biblical narrative of marriage is undeserved, all-in love.

So ultimately, this holiday—should you choose to accept it—is an opportunity to honor a spouse who’s hard to love. Who perhaps doesn’t deserve it.

What could it look like to honor your spouse on Valentine’s Day when marriage is hard?

A few practical ideas.

1. Think beyond the chocolates.

This one requires some prayer first. But it’s more important than anything else you’ll do for Valentine’s Day, with all that pink breathing down the neck of an exhausted marriage.

To prep, think about the woman who poured perfume, worth a year’s wages, on Jesus’ feet, wiping them with her hair. Or mull over the words of David: “I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing” (2 Samuel 24:24).

Ask God what He would have you give your spouse that would be the most valuable to Him. Something you can’t wrap and slap a happy bow on.

Maybe it’s choosing to give this relationship everything you’ve got, whether your spouse receives or scorns you.

It could be giving up the one habit that divides you. The one you’re pretty sure you don’t want to.

Or perhaps it’s choosing to move toward someone despite the near-constant rejection, sarcasm, sullenness, or flamboyant disregard.

Maybe it’s forgiveness.

What’s the hard, gritty heart-work God would ask of you toward your spouse?

2. Purchase a greeting card with plenty of room to write your own words.

Restate your commitment to your spouse without glossing over what’s raw. For example:

It’s been a tough season for us. But that’s all the more reason to let you know I believe in us. I choose us. I’m devoted to you and our marriage in the sunny seasons and the stormy ones. I love you way beyond romance. I love you for life.

You could include a gift card for coffee: Let’s spend some time remembering how good we are together.

3. Observe your spouse to give just the right gift. Ask God for help.

Rather than something big, ask God to show you a gift that would make your spouse feel seen and known. Think about a gift that could demonstrate

Maybe that’s a pair of gloves for all those times she’s de-icing her car—and a coupon book of days you’ll do it for her. It could be a songbook to keep practicing his music even though he’s had setbacks this year. You could try a set of paintbrushes and a gift certificate to a class, so she can explore the way she’s made apart from the kids.

4. Pry open the space to invest in your relationship.

Great marriages don’t happen. They’re made.

Think about creating space to talk. Taking the time to understand and forgive, even on this Valentine’s Day when marriage is hard. Shaping positive rapport between the two of you. Asking the kind of questions that reveal your spouse’s real feelings. None of these will likely happen in the midst of running kids to karate, paying bills, and cell phones chirping.

So perhaps this means committing to a once-a-month date night for the next six months, and get it on the calendar to show you mean it.

Maybe it means you finally make time for that weekend away, and put down a deposit. (A FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® could be a crackerjack way to do it.)

Perhaps you schedule a date night and go to work on the trimmings: the babysitter, the playlist, the no-strings-attached massage after. And you communicate, This is just a down payment. I hope to spend this year working on us. 

Because we are worth saving. You are worth loving. And I believe in a God bigger than we are.

Copyright © 2020 Janel Breitenstein. All rights reserved.

Janel Breitenstein is an author, freelance writer, speaker and frequent contributor for FamilyLife, including Passport2Identity®, Art of Parenting®, and regular articles. After five and a half years in East Africa, her family of six has returned to Colorado, where they continue to work on behalf of the poor with Engineering Ministries International. Her book, on spiritual life skills for messy families (Zondervan), releases March 2021. You can find her—“The Awkward Mom”—having uncomfortable, important conversations at JanelBreitenstein.com, and on Instagram @janelbreit.

My Valentine’s Day failures started with my fourth-grade girlfriend. By “girlfriend,” I’m loosely referring to the pretty girl I bounced with on the trampoline after school every day but otherwise never had the nerve to touch or even talk to.

Still, she called it “going steady,” which I assumed meant she was expecting something from me on this special day. So I bought her a teddy bear and some chocolates.

She broke up with me later that same day. A young Romeo I wasn’t.

And that remains true to this day. With more than two decades of marriage under my belt now, I’ve been known to take the Walgreens walk of shame a time or 20.

You know the routine. It’s February 14 at 5:50 p.m., and you still haven’t bought a single thing for your wife. So you hit the card aisle on your way home from work and find a band of brothers in the same predicament. Everyone avoids eye contact as if to say, “No, of course I didn’t wait until the last second. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks. The other stuff is in the car. I’m just here to snag a few final tokens.”

For me, even when I did plan ahead I just couldn’t seem to get it right. The card was never quite perfect. I tried buying flowers, but my wife preferred I save the money for something more practical. And don’t get me started on the trouble I had picking jewelry.

I guess you could say that the season of love had a unique way of shining a bright rose-colored spotlight on all of my guy floundering. At least it did until about seven years ago, when I had a game-changer idea that took me from zero to hero.

My idea: The Mitchell Family Love Feast

I know, awesome right? Dripping with glorious cheesiness. Go ahead, take it in and have yourself a good chuckle. Honestly, I get it. I can’t even say the phrase “Mitchell Family Love Feast” to another guy without embarrassment. It sounds like some kind of weird singing group in Branson, with mom and dad flanked by smiling kids arranged tallest to shortest like Russian nesting dolls.

But hear me out, guys—you may just find your biggest win of the year and start a tradition that will reward you more as time passes.

I had the idea of a love feast after reading about it in the Bible. Different than the Lord’s Supper of bread and wine, this was apparently a full meal where everyone gathered, enjoyed the food, and shared a sense of togetherness.

So I thought to myself, “Hey, maybe that could work for us!” I made quick invitations—nothing special, just hand-written notes on simple slips of paper—inviting each family member to a meal on Valentine’s Day. Our first Mitchell family love feast.

And guess who didn’t laugh at my cheesy idea? My family.

Quite the opposite, in fact. My kids got excited and immediately wanted to know, “What’s a love feast, Daddy?” My careful wife was curious and asked, “What exactly do you have planned?”

I hadn’t actually thought it all through yet, so I told them they’d have to wait. But anticipation was already building. Most important, just the thought itself seemed to be counting for something, which already felt like a win.

Of course, now I had to deliver a love feast. I decided on three simple components.

Food. Gifts. Love letters.

That’s it. I’ve repeated these same components every year since. The trick has been to keep the first two components simple and go all in on the third.

For the meal I’ve tried to stay flexible. That first year we went to a local burger place my son had picked. Not the most romantic choice (he seems to have inherited my knack for Valentine’s Day), but the girls rolled with it and we had a blast. Another year we didn’t feel like going out, so we ordered pizza at home. That worked fine, too.

Same thing with the gifts. I never go crazy. Just a selection of their favorite candies and maybe one or two small items I think they will enjoy. I don’t strive for perfection here. Just a sense of “I saw this and thought of you” is more than enough.

Which brings me to the best part every single year, the thing my wife and kids look forward to the most—love letters, written by me, read out loud for all to hear.

It’s hard to describe this experience and the bond it creates. The heart connection with my daughter as she hears my words of affection always makes us both cry. The eye contact from my son as he drinks in my words of affirmation strengthens us man-to-man. And of course the renewed softness with my wife as I reflect on our happily-ever-after story has yielded its own benefits.

And what’s even better is how everyone seems to enjoy hearing the other people’s letters even more than their own. This has made Valentine’s Day both magical and inexplicably rewarding. Quite a turnaround from my earlier blunders.

A surprising bonus just for me

Now, after seven years of doing this, when I sit down to write a new batch of love letters, an unexpected moment of joy greets me at my desk. Do you know what it is? Reviewing all those previous letters. My mind floods with memories from prior years and all the standout experiences from life at that time.

This private moment of reminiscing warms my heart and reminds me of God’s goodness. And with every passing year, new letters of His goodness are added.

Now before you get nervous and say, “Okay, I can order pizza and pick out candy, but I’m really not the love letter writing type,” let me reassure you. It doesn’t take a poet to pull this off. It’s way easier than you think.  All you’re really striving for are some simple thoughts or memories written from the heart and read with love.

Here are a few writing prompts to help get you started:

• I love how you . . .
• Over the past year you have . . .
• Something that’s always been true of you and is only getting stronger is . . .
• One feeling I have when I think about you is . . .
• It takes my breath away when you . . .
• You probably don’t realize this, but . . .
• Something I’ve never told you is . . .
• Do you know why I love you? Because . . .

Trust me, anything you say after those phrases, they’ll be all ears.

Your own “love feast”

So get out of your comfort zone this Valentine’s Day and throw your own love feast. Eat your favorite foods together. Give gifts that are sweet and simple. And write love letters tailored for each person. Then read them out loud for all to hear.

Your wife will love your letters to the kids. Your kids will love your letter to their mom. And you might just find your biggest win of the year.

Copyright © 2019 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

This year, my husband and I will celebrate our 17th Valentine’s Day together. Fourteen of those were spent in wedded bliss (mostly, anyway). Over the years, there were several times I felt as if that tiny Cupid guy really did shoot his arrow directly into my heart. But to be honest, the Valentine’s Days I remember most are the ones that weren’t charged to a credit card and didn’t involve elaborate meals and a $100 bouquet of roses.

One year, Josh excitedly presented me with a shiny DVD in a blank case (every girl’s dream, right?). When I popped the disc in the player, I got a bit mushy. He had compiled several of my favorite photos—from our dating years, the wedding, the births of our two children—and set the whole thing to music that brought back just as many memories.

Another year, he gave me a sketching he had done of my favorite wedding picture of the two of us—just after we had walked outside onto the large front porch of the building, and I was whispering something to him. My husband can be a real romantic when he wants to be. But the point I am trying to make is that he did this all for a few bucks, at most.

No need to break the bank

Americans spent more than $18 billion to celebrate Cupid’s big day in 2017, according to the National Retail Federation. Yikes. That breaks down to more than $136 per person, and those numbers were even higher in 2016. Not that there is anything wrong with spending money on your Valentine. If you can and want to shower your love with dozens of roses and a diamond bracelet, go right on ahead. Me? I’m more of a simple and sincere kind of girl—I don’t want anything over the top, I just want to know you mean it.

There were plenty of Valentine’s Days where Josh and I had no extra funds to spend on each other. Money was tight, and dinners out were an extravagance. Our celebrations included dinner at home after babies were put to bed and the rare rented movie that wasn’t animated. But we were okay with that.

Whether your funds are extensive or still recovering from the holidays, there’s no need to break the bank to show your forever Valentine they’re still the one that makes your heart melt. Sometimes, a little creativity, maybe a few dollars, and a little foresight are all that’s needed to make an unforgettable and budget-friendly way to say “Be mine, Valentine.”

Here are 10 ideas to get those romantic wheels turning.

1. Skip the restaurants.

My husband and I have a general rule to never eat out on Valentine’s Day. Even before we had kids, the three-hour wait was nothing we enjoyed. One year, we made reservations and still waited nearly an hour before actually eating. Do both of you a favor and stay home. Cook your spouse’s favorite meal instead, or tuck the kids in bed a little early and whip up something special together in the kitchen. Seriously, I am just talking about food here. But then again …

2. Pen your love a letter.

Go ahead and tell her your heart rate still goes up a notch when she enters the room. Tell your husband how secure his strength makes you feel. Whatever it is you love about your spouse, let them know. You don’t have to be Shakespeare and write a beautiful sonnet … Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Plain and to the point works well too … I love you like crazy. I am thankful for you. I couldn’t live without you.

3. Give them a vacation from chores.

For one week, take over some of your spouse’s responsibilities at home—do the dishes and laundry, mow the lawn and weed those flowerbeds, bathe the kids and put them to bed. Not only will you be giving your spouse a break from many of the pressures of home life, but you are recognizing the things they do that seem to go unnoticed. That is a gift itself.

4. Use your natural gifts.

Musically inclined? I’m slightly jealous. Write them an original song or sing/play one of their favorites. Good with tools? Build your love something inexpensive to make, like a jewelry box or a small trunk to hold a treasured possession. Whatever you do well, find a way to turn that into something that tells your spouse you care.

5. Choose something sentimental, but not pricey.

Maybe attempting to make a homemade gifts sounds almost painful. You can still come up with a creatively sentimental present. I spent $10 recently on a shirt my husband sports proudly. It bears a slogan from a favorite TV show we binge-watched together. It means little to anyone else, but is an inside joke we share. Maybe buy her a copy of the first movie you two watched together on a date, or a CD with the first song you danced to. Write a little note to go with it saying you’re happy to spend the rest of your life dating them again and again.

6. Pamper them at home.

For less than $5, you can pick up some bubble bath, a candle, and some hot tea at most dollar stores. When your wife gets home, let her relax while you take care of the dinner details. Wives, you can similarly pamper your husbands. Wash and vacuum his car, or rub his feet after a long day of work. Backrubs are always a good idea for men or women. And one size fits all!

7. Plan a date at your local park.

Weather permitting, that is. One year my husband surprised me with my mother coming over to watch the kids and a note on where to meet him. He was at our local park, where he had rented a pavilion (which are often free or super cheap). A fire in the fireplace, music, and a light meal were waiting on me. It was like something from a movie. But the possibilities don’t end there. Enjoy a walk or bike ride with your love, and hide a small treat somewhere along the way for them to find.

8. Send the kids packing.

Call Grandma, make a deal with another couple with young kids, whatever. If possible, send the kids away for a night so you can have the entire house to yourselves. Set the phone on do not disturb and enjoy one uninterrupted evening of laughing, loving, and just being husband and wife.

9. Relive a first date.

On our first date, we ate Italian food and headed to a movie. We saw Red Dragon (which terrified me) because we hadn’t really planned on movie times, and it was the only one starting within 30 minutes. To recreate our first date on a budget, I’d lay out a white tablecloth, set out a basket of breadsticks, and serve my handsome hubby homemade lasagna (what he ordered on October 12, 2002). I’d probably skip the movie this round because I am a big wimp.

If your first date was a concert, make a playlist on your phone that relives the moments that started a lifetime of love. Whatever it was, find a way to recreate the moment and moods that made her say yes to a second date.

10. Create a Valentine’s tradition.

My parents have a super romantic anniversary tradition that started years ago. They eat chili dogs. I know this sends your heart into palpitations. The messy hot dog celebration started when they still had kids in the house, no relatives nearby to watch me and my brothers, and money was tight. It was an easy, inexpensive meal, but it became a tradition. Even when they celebrated their 25th anniversary in Mexico, they managed to find a place serving chili dogs.

Why not make this year the year of new traditions? Traditions not only bond our families but our marriages as well. Maybe you want to be a bit fancier than hot dogs and canned chili. (Or maybe not, that’s okay too!) You could start a tradition of spending the holiday wrapped up in blankets, steaming cups of hot cocoa, and your favorite romance movie. Or channel your inner Iron Chefs and download an adventurous cooking video to follow along with. Whatever you do, make it your thing.

In the end, the day isn’t about reservations at the hottest new restaurant, or yet another piece of jewelry just after Christmas. It’s about showing your spouse you’d still choose them, no matter how many Valentine’s Days you celebrate together. And I know, I know. It’s more important to let them know this every day. But a sweet reminder on a cold February day won’t hurt either.

Copyright © 2018 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Ahhh … February. The month of hearts and roses and love.

Would you like to begin some new family traditions this Valentine’s Day? Then the following ideas have been written just for you.

1. Ask the kids to tell you how they think Valentine’s Day began. Write down what they say. Then do some research with the children, online or at the library, and see if their ideas are correct.

2. Designate the month of February as a time to show special love in your home. Read the following paraphrase together of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (The Message).

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Then discuss each of the above characteristics of love at the dinner table on separate nights. For example, “Love never gives up.” How have friends and family stood by one another in good and bad times?  What did God do after Adam and Eve sinned that showed that He did not give up on mankind?

3.  Plan a unique scavenger hunt with the kids for Dad (or Mom). Help the children make and hide clues, taping a small chocolate kiss on each one. Have meaningful gifts at the end of the hunt. Possibilities include handwritten notes of love and appreciation, personal certificates of service (I will wash your car, clean out the garage, cook dinner, etc.), drawings, homemade treats, framed family pictures, etc. To make the scavenger hunt extra special, end your time with a family trip to the pizza parlor or bowling alley.

4. As a family, think of those who may be especially lonely on Valentine’s Day, then brainstorm ways that you could show Christ’s love to them. The kids may want to make unique Valentine cards, bake heart-shaped cookies, or invite them to a special lunch or dinner.

5.  Cultivate a sense of appreciation in your children by helping them express appreciation to their grandparents. Have each of the kids write Grandma and Grandpa individual Valentine’s Day notes. On February 14, personally deliver the notes along with an arrangement of flowers or a balloon bouquet. If grandparents live out-of-town, mail each note in a separate envelope and also call Grandma and Grandpa.

6.  Make February 14 a “red letter day” for your family. Decorate the kitchen or dining room with hearts, red and white streamers, and heart-shaped balloons. Wear a red outfit or apron and serve the family heart-shaped pancakes; add some red food coloring to the syrup. Make heart-shaped sandwiches for lunch, and choose dinner entrees that are red.

7.  Mail each of your children a Valentine’s card from you and your spouse. Share not only why you love your child unconditionally, but also your gratitude to God that your son/daughter is your child.

8.  Tell your children how you celebrated Valentine’s Day as a child. Then have the kids call/visit their grandparents to see how they celebrated it. Talk about ways that Valentine traditions have not only changed, but also remained the same.

9.  Help the kids make an “I love you because” book for someone special (parent, grandparent, pastor, teacher, etc.). In addition to writing and drawing heartfelt messages, include some favorite photographs and artwork. For a lasting keepsake, have the book bound at a local print shop.

10.  With your spouse, decide on personalized ways that you can show love to each of your children on Valentine’s Day. Spend time praying about how to best do this. While love for one child may be expressed by time, another may feel loved by words of affirmation or gifts. You may want to read The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.

Copyright © 2008 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Has Valentine’s Day become a little predictable at your house? Then why don’t you focus on the real meaning of love rather than retailers’ idea of it? Barbara Rainey joins her husband, Dennis Rainey, to talk about her resource designed specifically with the month of love in mind.